Another Bedtime Story

The following is a brief synopsis of the Martyrs from an old website for original cassette label (semi-fictional, pseudo-legendary Big Casserole Records) started after the initial Martyrs diaspora, and now evolved into MushyApple Records:

"And now, the world-renowned Martyrs. The band that started it all. Formed in 1987 by four young lads (not to be confused with the Beatles, despite both groups’ propensity for bad haircuts), The Martyrs quickly became legends (just ask them!). Good God, it's a long fascinating story and I'm not sure I'm the one to tell it. Stay tuned.

THE BOOK OF THE MARTYRS, Chap.1, verse 1

"The earlier Martyrs recordings (the music with the truest Martyrs mood) were never collected until recently (1996 - Ed.) They were scattered on cassettes in any number of bedrooms and basements (let's say three) throughout Long Island (let's say within 5 square miles). Haphazard collections of what were then current songs by the band surfaced periodically in two, three, sometimes four of the band members' tape recorders or "boom boxes." However, in 1996, Martyr Chris put together a definitive anthology, despite the absence of dozens of songs owing to the limited capacity of two 90 minute tapes, called The Martyrs Anthology, culled from the extensive archives of this prolific and powerful, uh, powerhouse of rock and rollers. The Martyrs Anthologies I and II stand, or recline, but often flail about, as a testament to the talent of these basement boys. This was their high school. Sure, it was a "special class" of a high school, this high school we all call rock-and-roll, but were not, are not, these fellas in a special class? A special class we like to call "genius?" Sure they were! And sure they are!"

That's all. I think I wrote that sometime between '98 and '01. It's all true. Sorry -- "true." Big Casserole Records was touted as releasing "the new sounds of suburbia." That's "true" too. Again, I did the touting.